After my 2 month sabbatical back to the States, enjoying my family, the sunshine, old friends and new ones, retrieving my long awaited visa; i am now back in France! It's about minus 9 degrees celcius here and the first few little flakes of snow has fallen on my fourth day being here. This is the first sign of snow Normandy has had all winter! Last year it began pouring down snow in the beginning of November! It has been quite freezing here though, as you can tell! Anyways, the journey here was again peaceful and favored. Got onto all of my flights without a single thing going wrong, Thank you Jesus for your favor and provision! Was blessed with Business class for the flight to France, only 9 people were in there! 6 of which were flying for their first time across seas, 3 older couples, laughing and drinking and taking many pictures of themselves with their disposable cameras. Who says you can't have fun on flights?! I only wish to be like them when i grow older: travelling and enjoying it with good friends with lots of money ;)! But then again, who doesn't want that?
WELP! It's my fourth day in, mes amis (my friends), it's bitterly cold, but beautiful as ever! Did my first bits of work in the coffee shop on Friday afternoon and enjoyed the company of a few of the mothers from Hauteville (if you don't remember that's sort of the "projects" the cafe assocatif is planted) who were explaining to me how to make beaded rings. They were very patient with me and i made 2 rings, one with white and yellow and the other with black and green! :)
I'm really buckling down this second time being here. Not saying that i didn't take anything seriously before, but it was an amazing time where I discovered a lot about myself and getting acquainted with how things work around the church, getting acquainted with the families... Now i'm back and it honestly feels like i never left. It is a great feeling that i don't have to go through all those awkward stages of meeting everyone and can hit the ground running into the destiny i am heading towards!
FYI: It gets a bit more deep from here on out. :) Just warning you so you're not like, "Woah, where'd that come from!?"
But destinies come with their hard times... mostly due to jet lag and an over-pacing mind set (that i so despise!) i have been waking up every night (well, morning, if you would like to get technical), since arriving on the Feb. 1st, at 3 am with anxiety and a heavy heart. Fairly, everyone has come across these feelings in their lifetime and everyone has battles, but man would i just get panicked and think that my life is about to fall apart!
cause i mean, following God doesn't come with any attacks or hard times right!?
AU CONTRAIRE!
As i was studying through the book, "Mirror Ball" by Matt Redman (for those who have a heart of worship, and even for those who don't, i encourage you to look into investing in this book, definitely wonderful words of wisdom for the deep places of worship), He quoted a passage by a man named Graham Tomlin saying, "...yes, Jesus promises [us] His rest, His provision, and many a blessing for those who seek first the Kingdom and righteousness... The more intensely we follow Jesus the more joy and laughter there will be, but likely the more tears and struggles also. Carrying His name in this world is an awesome and enjoyable adventure, but one that will require much endurance and courage."
There's the truth for you. For me. For the world.
Usually we say, "if you love something, fight for it." I love walking in complete surrender and my every action and move glorifying the God who created the universe, Alpha Centuari, the farthest galaxy that we've just recently discovered, and all of creation itself. And through that act of surrender we get blessed and get to give blessing to those around us, but the Devil doesn't want that of course. So he'll hit you right where it hurts, bring up past insecurities, try to tear you down from your foundation... but how can he do that when one is standing on the firmest rock that is known in heaven and Earth? He can't! It's simply just that! So instead of me sulking in my fear of being in a new place again, fearful of what the future may hold, fearful of the unknown... i counteract fear with declaration with the very thing God is... truth. As a very lovely woman in my life (my mother, if you didn't catch that right away) said, "Fear is just a lie, right? And your mind is convincing itself that it is truth, when you know in your heart it is, in fact, not. So how do you counteract this? Begin to declare and know the truth. Speak the exact opposite thoughts that are weighing heavy on your heart!"
Speaking truth until your mind finally gets it, speaking truth so that your spirit is nourished and the mind succumbs to the spirit filled with the truth, by the time that happens you have no choice but to believe that fear is a lie and was a thief in your home. It will be a fight and will most likely get harder and more tiring, but once i fully grasp that God has given me the power to conquer the most tiniest form of fear, oppression, sickness, anything not from heaven...i can begin to walk it out in confidence.
Wow, double reading this passage over, i quite realize that it's a bit of a heavy subject for having just arrived in France. But i hope this is also not just me externally processing (and perhaps being more vulnerable than i should be), but yet, touching the heart of someone who needs encouragement in the fact that just because you are following the Lord and are experiencing the very opposite (so it seems) that the Word declares... combat it with what the Word actually says... Nourish yourself in truth until you receive that breakthrough. And even then continue to declare and praise God, cause he has won all battles, has never set you up for failure, only for victory!
Other than that, im enjoying being back in this country and i am really going to try to keep these blogs updated once a week. I am going to mark it down on my calendar, cause i forgot how much pleasure it gives me to share with the few lot of you that want to know what's going on 4,000 miles away. :) I appreciate you all so very much! Thank you for those who have been standing by me every step of the way, you know exactly who you are, and i cannot express how deep my heart and appreciation goes out to you!
I'll be writing next Sunday, but until then!
Bon soir, mes amis!
